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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766997">Fading hope</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadday/pseuds/Cadday'>Cadday</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Ansem is too positive, Braigs friends are concerned, Braigs pov though, Found Family, Gen, Luxu is a dick, Starts kind of happy, braig centric, sad braig</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:22:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766997</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadday/pseuds/Cadday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Braig's life is full of darkness and light.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fading hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven't written fanfiction in years. Please be patient with me. I need more information about Braig. Was he always Luxu was he not. So I wrote it myself.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He comes to Radiant Garden somewhere in his teens, one of the first of Ansem the wise’s charity cases. Guilt of a ruler who is reminded he isn’t the king of a perfect world. The darkness is always there. Braig is used to darkness in his teens, Ansem’s home though is bright and open and so full of light that when he first moves in he can’t look at anything directly. At least that’s what he tells himself when he won’t meet Ansem the wise’s eyes.</p>
<p><br/>Dilan comes next. He’s an angry guy around Braig’s age he thinks and Braig takes immediate thrill in pissing him off. They fight a lot much too Ansem’s concern, but for every rude remark and physical altercation Braig is beginning to laugh again. Fighting is familiar and easy and in the end Dilan’s temper never gets so out of hand that he actually gets hurt. If anything he notices him and Dilan start to have interaction’s without fighting and if Braig says something mean or goading he now just gets an annoyed look instead of a punch or insult thrown back. It doesn’t occur to him that he and Dilan may actually be friends till a year later and they're both sharing a couch, Braigs feet in Dilan’s lap as he dozes as the taller boy read’s something too boring for his taste. Braig can finally meet Ansem the wise’s eyes these days but only briefly because the bright light of hope in him makes him want to gag before he ignores the old man to try to kick Dilan’s book out of his hand for attention.</p>
<p><br/>Even is a pratt. Snooty know it all who grate’s at Braig on the best of days. He prattle’s at Ansem and is always asking questions. Dilan had to stop Braig from chucking himself out of the nearest window when the blonde pain made an appearance. They argue constantly when in the same room and DIlan carefully defuses it when it gets too verbally messy. Braig ain’t stupid though and he is pretty sure Even thinks he’s god’s gift of knowledge to the world. He wants to drown him in the soup they have for dinner, Ansem is watching him though and he can’t look up with the weight of hope pushing the murderous intent down. After dinner though when Dilan disappears off their couch to go collect a new book and Braig continues to stare at the ceiling it’s Even who plops down in front of the couch on the floor who has Braig looking at him like he’s grown three heads. He’s sitting too close to him but for some reason he isn’t demanding he move his feet too let him sit so he ignores him. Until Even starts to read his book out loud. Braig frowns and looks over his shoulder at the mess of black scribbles dancing around the page. It’s not a science book though judging from Even’s reading and he pretends to not be aware of Even pointing to each word he reads slowly, cuz it’s not for the blonde’s benefit. Braig and Even finish half the book before he can mostly follow along, over several days and weeks of slow reading and Even’s strange patience. They still fight but Braig finishes the story himself reading out loud as Dilan and Even occupy themselves with new books. No one complains about him having to read out loud and no one comments on having to help him with harder words. Some days the page is too black and white with too many scribbles instead of the letters they should be. On those days Even reads out loud anyway whatever he is reading that day. Dilan and Braig listen along and Ansem walks by the door with too much light and eyes too full of hope. Braig decides Even is tolerable and might be his friend too. He guesses that’s okay.</p>
<p><br/>Aeleus is bigger than Dilan. Which is weird because he wasn’t sure anyone could be larger then Dilan but here they were. He’s also so dang quiet and Braig can’t get him to react to anything. It pisses him off and grates at his already frayed nerves when he just gets a quiet stare at his comments. Dilan just rolls his eyes at him and Even rants a little about wasting time on trivial matters. Braig writes Aeleus off as brain dead or too stupid to get he’s trying to piss him off at least. It’s evening or night and so dark in the castle. He normally feels more at home in the dark but tonight his chest feels too tight and he feels jumpy and can’t close his eyes without feeling like something is watching him, grabbing at him, pulling him under. He ends up on the couch by himself with all the lights he can manage on in the room. He is holding a book but not reading and keeps looking up at doorways and shadows and every little noise has him frozen like if he moves it will see him. Whatever it is. Aeleus finds him there. Frayed edges and panicked breathing makes him want to crawl out of his skin when he first steps into the room. But there's a blanket wrapped around him and a hot cup of tea on the table and Braig finds himself able to breathe when the larger man is pressed to his side rubbing his back and quietly talking about something, anything who cares. He falls asleep at some point. Dilan finds him for breakfast and no one asks. Aeleus sure isn’t telling, but he takes up the chair next to the couch when they read and him and DIlan share quiet conversations about things and Even drags them all into ethical and unethical science theories and it’s fine. Three friends is company or something right.</p>
<p><br/>Braig doesn’t get kids. He doesn’t really know how old he is but he can only guess he would be an adult now age wise. He looks like one at least but he always felt he looked old as hell. Dilan says he’s just ugly when he brought it up. He cackled out a laugh and told him at least he didn’t try to make up for his hideous looks with stupid hair. Aeleus pretends to stop their fight and Even ignores them and maybe he acts like a child sometimes but sue him he didn’t have a childhood. Still childishness aside actual kids were a freaking mystery and this blue haired toddler wandering the castle has him on edge. Ienzo is so small and stupid but he thinks toddlers as a whole are supposed to be. He has to be baby jailed most of the time, and Even keeps getting huffy when he calls it that but come on it’s got little bar’s it’s a jail. Whoever put the baby jail in their room though he was going to have a word, cuz he came in here to lay on his couch and maybe take a nap but the nanny lady had said something about a family emergency as soon as he walked in and left him with Ienzo staring brightly at him from his prison. Ansem needs to watch his own charity cases was what he thought at first but then he thought about hopeful staring and frowned. Maybe not. He ignored the toddler thing and plopped down on his couch and tried to take a nap and ignore the feeling of being stared at. Then the cooing started which he could ignore till he heard something hit the coffee table and jolted up. The little turd had thrown one of his toys at the table or maybe at him. He snarked that the baby was trying to fight him. Ienzo looked genuinely unimpressed so much that he was laughing before he knew why. Later when everyone wanders in they find Braig asleep on the couch with Ienzo on his chest also happily napping. He tells Dilan the kid demanded a jailbreak and he had to liberate him. Ienzo likes when they read books out loud so they start alternating who holds him and who reads till the brat’s old enough to do it himself. He ends up sitting leaned against Aeleus’s chair most days with books half his size in his lap and a pension for acting like he’s too good for Braig’s shenanigans even when his dry comments and small smirk say otherwise. Braig doesn’t get kids, but Ienzo’s alright regardless. Three’s company, fours a fam...nevermind.</p>
<p><br/>Ansem the wise looks too happy with his dubbed apprentices all the time. He has paintings of all of them done and they all hang in the hall closest to their room. Braig’s is closest to the door. He hates it and wonders at it all the same. It’s a type of permanence that makes him vaguely uncomfortable. Yet he guesses for the first time in a long time he is happy.<br/>Luxu comes in the darkness of night and Braig doesn’t think to fight the strange feeling until it’s too late and the darkness pulls his heart too deep to fight back. Luxu laughs at him when he fights back. It doesn’t take long for him to ruin everything and Braig is only rarely conscious for any of it. Luxu is piloting and talking for them both and he wishes his heart could scream. Sometimes Ienzo looks at him oddly and Braig thinks he knows something wrong but nothing ever comes of it.</p>
<p><br/>His heart is thrown out of him by Xehanort and it’s both a blessing and a curse. He is conscious all the time now. It’s weird to watch your body as a disembodied heart connected to it. He’s not sure on the science of this. Maybe Even would have known. All he notices is that Luxu is still in his body, which is so unfair he wants to do more of that screaming, and his body now called Xigbar is on it’s way to be a vessel for Xehanort as well. What is he some kind of heart hotel?</p>
<p><br/>Braig decides he hates keyblades. He hate’s Xehanort and most of all he hates...himself.</p>
<p><br/>He looks out at his family, because dang it they had been he finally had one, all without hearts fighting desperately for lies spilling from his mouth, and he wants to die for real. They never notice it’s not him. At least he doesn’t think they do till Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion are sent away. Sent away to die and he realizes they know. They have noticed something wrong and they died for it. He isn’t sure he can cry like this but he wishes he could. Xaldin the day before he dies sits next to Luxu/Xigbar/him. He sits there for a long while and then looks at him as if trying to find something. Luxu asks if there's a problem and Xaldin says nothing just continues to stare till his nobody leaves first. Braig’s heart tries to stay, to ignore the dragging feeling and stay with Xaldin. He can’t though and fights harder than ever when Xaldin is reported dead.</p>
<p>He gets the upper hand when Sora comes. He actually saves the twerp from heartless and Luxu is pissed to have lost the control. Braig doesn’t care though as he gets too actually feel for the first time in a while, and it’s wrong because it’s his heart in his nobody and something isn’t right their not correctly complete but he doesn’t care. Luxu and him switch back and forth the whole battle but Braig gets his way in the end and their dieing. He laughs as they fade away and Sora must think him crazy for smiling but he doesn’t care. It’s over is all he can think.</p>
<p><br/>He is panicked when he wakes up in Radiant Garden. He shouldn’t be alive but he was there and he turns his thoughts to his family and the castle and tries desperately to go to them but realizes in a panic that he’s not in control. He is complete for all of ten minutes at most. Luxu laughs at his sorrow. When Luxu takes control this time Braig doesn’t see anything. His world is dark and sometimes he thinks he hears familiar voices. He wonders if this will ever end, if Luxu can be defeated. If anyone cares that he’s gone, been gone, will be gone. He thinks back to the childhood he didn’t have. Of darkness in a place named for its radiance. He thinks and hates, and weeps and screams as much as one can as just a fading heart. Braig only sees darkness.</p>
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